Issues, I have them.

I have issues.

There, I said it. I have huge, scary, elephant in the room issues. Issues that mean I expect you to leave, to stop caring, and to hurt me.

For years and years I spent my free time building walls, thinking that if I just kept everyone at a distance, they couldn't hurt me. It was going great.

Then you happened. For almost three years, you have been chipping away at all of my stupid walls. And although sometimes I curse you, because letting you in means you can hurt me, I am also so very very happy. Letting you in feels right, but it scares the shit out of me.

So now that all of those walls are cracked and chipped and falling, all of those issues start coming to the forefront. When you don't call, or respond, or just are having an off day, I will assume it's me. I will get insecure and assume all of the worst things. It's something I'm working on, day by day, but I can't do it without you.

I need constant reassurance, at least for now, and I am sorry for that. But I promise that in return for your patience you will get hugs, kisses, and several hours of snuggle time.



image via ffffound.