I've been on what seems to be a blogging hiatus. This hasn't been entirely intentional. Right now, I'm in a very weird place.
Mostly, I'm concerned that any post I write will be a long string of "DON'T GO DON'T GO DON'T GO!" and that's not what I want.
I am terrified of loss, especially the loss of someone I hold dear. It is a fear that takes on a physical form, and it has been following me around for weeks now. At the same time, I am trying to be practical. This is me, and I am a practical lady. I am trying to figure out what will be best for the whole, and not just me. But come on. Who am I trying to kid? I have no idea what's best for this little whole of ours! I can't promise that things will be BETTER if I get what I want. I can't even promise that things will be GOOD. So how then do I give an opinion on this? How can I give a conclusive "do not go," when I don't know what will happen, or what will make everyone happy? Why oh why would I make this harder on us both?
Thus, I have not been blogging. I've been biting my tongue, and playing checkers with this good old buddy Fear of mine. We're working on my patience, and he keeps telling me that it will be ok.
